I’ve been trying to
formulate how at the same time I feel blessed and bereft. Such riches in this world, at every
turn! But always the necessity of
choosing some, and so not having others.
Either walking to
the beach, or lying by the fire.
Sitting meditatively alone, or giving that time to my husband. Watching shore birds, or being charmed
again by A Christmas Carol. Buying ono (my favorite fish from Hawai’i)
or steelhead trout (my favorite new discovery). Travelling, or settling at home. Making lavender white tea, or melon oolong. Writing about the cathedral close in
Durham, near Hadrian’s wall, or about the walled Medieval town in Mallorca. Visiting which?
In every
acceptance, rejection. My heart
both full and broken, all at once.
Is this sorrow at
all the lost things human nature, or just mine, a Gemini with double everybody
else’s yearnings? I’ve always
thought it was a sign that I was premature, a baby impatient beyond waiting to
jump headlong into life; and yet I dawdle, poke along, reluctant half the time
to move.
I think there’s no
answer or cure for this. Loving it
all. Should I learn to
discriminate? Love some things
less? Have just one preference,
one way I like to go? Every fiber
of me says no—I can’t love anything less!
Can’t give up wanting everything; luxuriating in the daily embarrassment
of riches in which loss is after all one of the most valuable treasures.
image: She Who Is
i might have known you're a gemini.
ReplyDeletei too am that fickle sign. they say dual. i say multiple!
it is why i love and live a minimalist life and yet
happily and joyously even revel in your multitudinal . . .
well that's underlined in the red saying either it's not a word
or it's spelled wrong. i'll go with the latter. and i'll keep the word . . .
LIFE!
LOLOL. happy new year dearest gemini sister.
Yes, happiest new year, my twin Twin! Here's to the multitudes in us...
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